I’ve cried for my children that have not made it into this world. I’ve cried out apologies to their souls for
being too weak to carry them and too scared to fight for their lives. My first, so unexpected, as an offering to
their father’s honor, rejected, held within the spawn of my emotions as he miscarried it; it bled to death. Still
wanting to remain in my uterus, to be my baby, had to be torn out by forceps, vacuumed and left a void in me.
And I forgave him because I loved him but I hated him for killing my baby.
He seduced me and everything within my soul and body surrendered to him.
I opened my womb again and named his seed, and he still didn’t want my baby.
My breath, receding and reverberating, as he suggested I take the breath of mine
I’m sorry baby, mama loves you and this is the hardest decision I ever had to make
If life without a father who wants you is worst than death
Rest in Peace!
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